broken hallelujah
by xValkyrie
Summary: Stacie Conrad wasn't always the confident, hot woman she is today.


17 years spent in a place with four walls and a roof that never quite felt like home. Stacie Conrad was in her last year of high school; she managed to spend all of her school years blending into the crowd and never drawing much attention to herself. She went to an all girl's private school so there wasn't much self expression anyway. She wore thick black frames and she almost always wore the long sleeve version of their uniform.

Like any school, there were cliques. There were the good Catholics, the naughty Catholics, the occasional Jew, and the rest were morally grey Christians. It wasn't very diverse but it was in a small Colorado town. She passed most of her classes with C's and B's, sometimes managing to pull off an A. There were some extra curriculars like math and science enrichment but she wasn't very interested. However, she did have one friend that encouraged her to try out the science club. She ended up loving it, even competing in the annual science fairs from 8th - 11th grade, taking home second place in 10th grade.

Outside of school, the tall, big-busted (yet she kept them strapped down), near-sighted brunette went to church most Sundays. She was a part of the church choir and she found there that she had a voice. A pretty good one at that. She loved singing almost as much as she loved science.

Trying to find a boy to date while in an all girl's school was difficult. She would meet guys occasionally at diners or at the movies she often attended by herself and most wouldn't notice her but some did. Whenever a guy would approach her she'd hook her sleeves with her thumbs and pull the fabric over her hands, as if she were a turtle trying to hide in its own shell. She'd push her glasses up her nose a bit, even if they weren't falling down, and she'd awkwardly smile. She didn't have the best social skills and she wasn't the most confident either.

There was one boy in particular that was interested Stacie; he was a muscular guy, longer dirty blond hair, a guy that a lot of girls would have swooned over. He had bragged about girls he'd been with before and he'd tell Stacie how she'd be lucky to be with him. Part of her desperately wanted to not be alone and would settle for anyone that gave her the time of day but part of her also had no interest in him. He was attractive enough but he had no personality and he was rude. He made her feel uncomfortable in every given opportunity.

So when he tried to advance on the brunette and she pulled back and told him no, a cold, hard sting was felt on her cheek. The boy had slapped her across the face in the middle of a local diner in a small town. People saw it. No one said a word. He berated her and called her a slut and a whore even though she did nothing. Her eyes welted with tears and she ran out of the diner, walking several blocks home.

Stacie tried to explain to her parents what had happened but they wouldn't listen. They didn't even believe her. "We're all just trying to get by, Stacie," her dad told her, "why did you make him think you were interested anyway?" "What were you doing dressed like that anyway?" her mother started questioning her, referring to the short sleeved shirt the 17 year old was wearing. They made her feel like it was her fault. So she believed it was.

The next day, she went to school and for the first time ever, people were looking at her. She felt their judging stares and the way their looks seared through her like a sharp, burning arrow. They left notes on her locker that ranged from: WHORE, SLUT, TRAMP to PRUDE, WORTHLESS, LOSER. Stacie dropped her books when she saw the notes, walking right back out the doors of the building and once again walking home. When she tried to talk to her parents again, they blamed her yet again and told her to just go back to school and apologize as if she owed someone an apology.

Feeling defeated and absolutely, devastatingly alone, Stacie walked to her room and slammed her door shut. She packed up the clothes she had, her iPod, some snacks, some cash, and she walked out of the front door and she never looked back.

Stacie took several buses to get as far away from Colorado as she could, never wanting to breathe that cold air again. She listened to "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainwright on repeat to pass the time on the long bus rides. Something about it cheered it up and made her feel emotional and empowered at the same time.

2 years later

'Congratulations,  
You have been accepted to Barden University!' Stacie read as she jumped up and down in her run-down apartment. "Hell yeah, bitches!" She said in the most excited tone she's ever used. The occupants in the floor above her stomped, a muffled 'shut the hell up' echoing. "Sorry!" she replied then jumped onto her bed, screaming into her pillow as she kicked her legs against the bed.

It took a long time for the woman to manage to get a G.E.D. It was hard when she couldn't provide any past school documentation.

As far as her parents went, she let them know that she was safe and that she was happy after they filed a missing persons report 72 hours after she ran away from home 2 years ago. They didn't try to look for her again and she didn't contact them.

She had a part time job working at a nail salon for the past year and a half and managed to pay her monthly rent to keep her apartment. The landlord thought she was easy on the eyes so he'd occasionally give her an extension if she was late with her payments.

Her personality and appearance got a total make over whenever she got her life started in the new state. It was like she finally felt comfortable in her own skin. She fixed her hair each and every day, put on make-up, put in contacts so she didn't have to wear her glasses anymore, and showed a lot more skin. Generally, she was happy.

She had hook-ups with guys every now and then just to have some human contact but she'd just kick them out at the end of the night and wouldn't call them back.

She was still alone.

Day 1 at Barden University

It was time for the activities fair and Conrad thought she'd go and check the place out. She thought it might be a good way to meet new people and maybe even find a group to join.

As she looked around, she didn't find too much that interested her. There was a science group that appealed to her but they just laughed when she asked about it. She soon stumbled across a redhead whose smile was as bright and lively as the sun standing next to a blonde whose smile was so forced it looked like it was painful.

"Hi," the redhead said as their eyes met. "Can you sing?"

Stacie smirked, "can you?"

Later that night

The auditions for the acapella groups began, several singers with varying skill levels all singing "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson.

Then the tall brunette, wearing a white blouse with an exposed black bra underneath with red skinny jeans and brown cowboy boots, walked onto the stage with confidence.

"Hi everybody, my name is Stacie. My hobbies include cuticle care and E! Network."


End file.
